Christmas with the Akatsuki
by honeydew7
Summary: Akatsuki and Christmas in one room. It can't get any better than that. Or worse. T for Hidan's mouth. MERRY CHRISTMAS! ONESHOT.


**A/N: **Just a random little thing I came up with to spread the Christmas cheer! It was a quick thing so there isn't much detail and description, which I apologize for, but I hope you like it in the spirit of this holiday! :D

Akatsuki + Christmas = The best thing in the whole world... :)

**Warning:** Rated **T** because Hidan likes to open his mouth.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the Akatsuki or Naruto. Unfortunately.

* * *

"What a shame it won't be a white Christmas this year."

Zetsu's large form stood by a window in the living room gazing out at the endless rain.

Itachi asked rhetorically, "Has it ever been a white Christmas?"

"We live in the fucking Village Hidden in Rain." Hidan appeared, shirtless, with a large shopping bag full of his gifts for others which he dropped next to the Christmas tree in the corner of the room and plopped himself down onto the couch. "Do you really expect anything other than the damn rain?"

Pein, the leader of the group, stared at the main door from his armchair. "The others should be back by now."

As if on cue, Kakuzu threw open the main door and entered the house, Tobi, Deidara, and Sasori trailing behind him, bags of groceries in all three pairs of hands. They reached the kitchen and threw the bags on top of the countertops as Kakuzu sat himself, with no greeting for the others, at the dining table with the long receipt, a calculator, a notebook, and a pen.

Deidara let himself fall lazily next to Hidan and sighed. "Say, why are we having Christmas dinner on Christmas Eve, yeah?"

When he received no answer, he hoisted himself off the comfortable seat and wordlessly headed upstairs to his shared room where Sasori had already gone to upon arriving at the house.

"Tobi has an idea!" Tobi plopped himself down on the ground and lifted an arm up to gain attention from the other members. "Let's say what we're all thankful for!"

"It's not fucking Thanksgiving, you dumbass. It's Christmas."

"Settle down." Pein rose from his seat. "We will begin to prepare for our dinner."

* * *

"Look at my new work, yeah!"

Deidara jumped the last few steps on the stairwell and walked into the living room with his hand outstretched infront of him, clenched into a fist. Itachi, Kisame, and Konan entered the living room from the kitchen to join everybody else, execpt for Sasori who was still upstairs. When Deidara got everybody's attention he opened his hand and in his palm was a tiny reindeer. It squirmed in its spot for a moment before jumping into the air and inflating to be the size of Deidara's head as it headed towards the large Christmas tree in the corner of the living room.

"I haven't perfected it yet but isn't it -"

Before he could finish his statement, the poor reindeer burst into a large poof of flames with a loud bang. Everyone dove into the ground and covered their heads to protect themselves from the exposion. Smoke filled the entire room but soon cleared up as everybody stood up coughing and waving their hands infront of their faces.

Sasori climbed down the stairs to find a mess waiting for him at the bottom. "What happened?"

"Deidara, you fucking shit! That freaking hurt!" Hidan stood up to reveal a bloody shoulder and no arm. "Where the hell is my-"

"Wahhhhhh!" Tobi jumped up and down pointing at the corner of the room. "The tree is on fire! The tree is on fire!"

The tree was indeed blanketed by red flames that threatened to engulf the whole room.

"Don't worry." Kisame grabbed his beloved sword that was resting against the wall. "Suiton: Suikōdan no Jutsu! (Water Release: Water Shark Missile Technique)"

Outside, the massive puddles of rain on the ground flew up into the sky and formed into a very large shark. It somehow opened the window and transported into the room and shot at the tree. The impulse, however, was so great that the shark made of water not only got rid of the fire but splashed everywhere, wetting the whole living room and all of its contents, including the people.

"Kisame." Itachi appeared in the kitchen, completely dry, as opposed to his previous location by the lit tree. Clearly he had predicted the outcome and tried to avoid the water. "You didn't have to take it that far."

"Noooooooo! My Christmas lights!" Tobi screamed out with his hands on his masked face out of shock.

Everyone focused their attention on the lights that were half tacked up to the wall and half still laid on the ground. The water from Kisame's technique had brought about sparks that were flying everywhere, almost as bad as the fire. Pein used his gravitational forces to pull the lights off the wall and pushed them out the window. He then brought his gaze to the youngest member.

Immediately, Deidara got into defense mode and held his hands up infront of him, as if to stop the leader from giving him that intimidating glare of his. "Sorry! I didn't think it would explode by itself, yeah."

"Don't let it happen again."

"Never, yeah."

"Everything is okay now, isn't it?" Tobi was now a lot more calm, and despite the current condition of the living room he wanted some holiday cheer. "Let's celebrate Christmas!"

Hidan was outraged. "What the hell are you talking about? My arm is fucking gone!"

Konan walked up to him with what seemed like his arm in her hand. "Here."

"Calm down, Hidan." Sasori said, starting to get a little annoyed. "Kakuzu will reattach it for you."

"Kakuzu! Help me."

Kakuzu merely scoffed. "I told you the next time I have to reattach your body parts I would be expecting payment."

"It's not my fault that idiot Deidara decided to blow my freaking arm off-"

"I already said sorry, yeah-"

"All the gifts are ruined now-"

"Well that tidal wave ruined everything-"

"You little puppet boy, it was a shark not a tidal wave. Would you like to see my Bakusui Shōha (Exploding Water Colliding Wave) hmm?-"

In an instant it was chaotic. One argument led to another which led to another and so on, even though the reasons for their arguments had no relation to anything that had gone on that day. Zetsu, who was sick of all the noise, had left the living room and headed upstairs. Pein went outside leaving Itachi and Konan to watch the rest take undying shots at eachother with Tobi trying to settle everything down.

"You know what? Fuck you guys! I'll celebrate Christmas on my own without both my arms or you dicks!"

"But-"

"Me too!"

"Wait-"

"Shut up, Tobi! Christmas is over, yeah."

The rest seemed to agree that they would do the same wordlessly, silently heading off in different directions.

Konan gazed around as they dispersed, not willing to acknowledge eachother. She noticed Tobi was grounded to his spot a short distance away from her, clearly upset from this blowup, staring down at the ground with his arms defeated at his side.

She glanced at a nearby window to see the rain pouring down from the sky and whispered to no one in particular, not even to herself.

"Merry Christmas..."

* * *

They were placed all around the living room individually, comfortable with the silence that had been with them for almost an hour now.

Deidara was sitting backwards on a chair infront of a window, his hands placed on the head of the chair with his chin on his hands, staring pointlessly out at the rain. Just a metre away from him sat Sasori on the cold ground; in his hands a small puppet. Itachi sat at one end of the very long couch, his hands placed in his lap. On the other end was Hidan, his legs sprawled straight out with one hand behind his head and his detached arm in his lap. Between them was Kisame, not seated on the couch but on the ground, leaning back against the couch, one of his two long legs bent. Tobi sat on the ground as well, his head tilted back against the wall so he could stare at the bareness of the ceiling. Near him was Zetsu, sitting in a large armchair with his eyes shifting around the room observing the area. Kakuzu sat on a chair that belonged to the dining table that had obviously been dragged away from its original location, his neon green eyes hidden as his eyes rested shut. At the dining table, Pein sat with his hands together on the surface of said table, staring into nothing. Konan sat next to Pein, playing with the paper rose she had plucked out of her hair.

"Hey..." Deidara lifted his head up from his hands to look outside properly, wondering if his eyes were toying with him. "It's snowing, yeah."

All heads looked up at the source of the voice, all aware that they were still mad at eachother but still a tiny bit curious as to Deidara's observation.

Tobi brought himself to Deidara to see that what his senior had said was correct. "There's snow!"

Now, the eight other members got up from their seats to check out the snow.

The whole group piled around Deidara, who was still sitting, and stared at the picturesque scenery outside. The rain had indeed realized what time of the year it was and changed itself to fluffy white snowflakes. Because of the wet grounds the snow had not yet began to pile and stick to any surfaces. But since they were so high up from the ground, all they saw was the snow falling from above.

"It's beautiful." Konan whispered, and she saw a few heads nod in agreement.

Sasori broke his eye contact with the snow and glanced at the clock on the wall that they usually never regarded. "It's past midnight."

"So it's Christmas now, eh?" Kisame stated, not as a question but as something for all of them to think about and consider before the next actions were made.

Pein turned away from the window and crossed his arms over his chest. "We may fight all the time but at least we have eachother."

They all took a moment to look at one another, suddenly realizing that Pein's statement was indeed true. They did fight a lot. Hell, they fought every other hour over the tiniest of things. But at the end of the day, they were a family. It was their equivalent hate for their villages that had brought them together, and even though it was the worst factors that had made them become one, they accepted eachother, and tights bonds and relationships had been formed which only grew with each squabble they had.

Hidan punched Kakuzu in the arm with his typical grin, who replied by throwing a coin at his face, hitting him right between his pink eyes. Kisame patted Itachi on the back, who merely said "Hn." but a smile could easily be found. Tobi jumped onto Deidara's back and threw his arms around his neck, only to end up scratching the back of his head after Sasori grabbed him and threw him off. Zetsu's white side grinned as the other silently complained about the disruption of the quietness he was fond of. Pein gently placed a hand on Konan's cheek, who smiled back at him.

Deidara got up from his seat and acknowledged the group. "Let's celebrate Christmas properly now, yeah."

"Hell yeah!"

Each person went back to finishing their incomplete duties as their leader watched over them. Konan sent a countless number of pieces of paper to lift what was left of the Christmas tree back up from its poor position on the ground and also added a paper angel to the very top before she rearranged the burnt gifts to sit prettily around the tree, despite their condition. Tobi found new Christmas lights to hang up on the bare walls, singing Christmas carols while doing his task. Kakuzu, after reattaching Hidan's arm, continued his calculations on the group's money spent on decorations and dinner preparations; thankfully none of the money was damaged. Zetsu noticed many plants had been knocked over during the few minutes of hate-filled rage and put them back upright, quietly apologizing to them. Deidara and Sasori were setting up the dining table as Itachi and Kisame were warming up the food that had gone cold during the silence. Hidan was adding some sort of clear liquid to the bowl of eggnog that sat vulnerably on the counter, a noticeably wider smirk painted on his face.

"Now it is Christmas."

* * *

A couple hours, many presents opened, and countless jugs of spiked eggnog later, a tiny white clay dove soared through the air. Everyone watched it zoom around their heads amusingly until it exploded, to their drunken surprise, emitting many sparks and a blink later igniting the poor already-damaged Christmas tree for the second time, and also igniting the rage from just a few hours ago.

"DEIDARAAAAA!"

"Ahhh ha ha. Merry Christmas, yeah!"

* * *

**A/N:** Don't forget to review!

**MERRY CHRISTMAS!** :D


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